As I have previously stated, I used to work as a waitress. I’ve remarked on this in a couple of older videos. I am pleased to report that no one was harmed during my time as a waitress, but I will add that some customers didn’t receive what they ordered.
‘How can I get a job when I live in a tiny village with no shops?’ I asked.
‘Why don’t you try the local pub?’ answered my mum.
‘That’s a very good idea,’ I acknowledged.
I walked into the pub later that day. ‘Do you have any vacancies for a weekend waitress?’ I inquired.
‘We might be able to make some space for you!’ replied the landlady, Linda.
‘Please make space for me!’ I begged.
‘Can I see your CV?’ she requested.
‘I can show you my exam grades, but I don’t have any work experience,’ I explained.
‘Why would I care about your exam grades? This is a pub! You can start on Saturday!’ she retorted.
When I got home I was so happy.
‘I got the job!’ I rejoiced.
‘I knew that the landlady was completely nuts!’ joked my dad.
‘You can’t say that, Richard!’ laughed my mum.
‘Nuts or not, I am officially employed!’ I giggled.
‘You can start paying rent now!” smirked my dad.
‘Jokes aside, we are really proud of you,’ beamed my mum.
I nervously entered the pub on the following Saturday.
‘What do you want?’ shouted the other waitress, Emily, who was hoovering the floor.
‘I’m the new waitress!’ I yelled back in response.
‘John, the new waitress is here!’ Emily screamed to the landlord.
‘Nice to meet you John,’ I trembled.
‘How old are you?’ boomed John, who clearly had a temper.
‘F..f..fifteen,’ I stammered.
‘Why are you so young?’ he exclaimed.
‘I..I was just born a little late…’ I stuttered.
‘Oh dear, John is not very happy,’ gulped Emily.
John and Linda were a passionate couple. They fought like cats and dogs but they loved each other very much.
‘Where have you left the bottle opener?’ demanded John.
‘How should I know?’ snapped Linda.
‘You were the last one to use it!’ he thundered.
‘No I wasn’t, you had a drink after closing yesterday!’ she fumed.
‘Well, you must have moved it!’ he barked.
‘I swear I haven’t touched it!’ she hissed.
‘Whatever, I have just found it,’ he grunted.
‘Every time!’ she ranted.
Emily made it quite obvious that she didn’t want me to be there. She made me do all of the rubbish jobs, so I was hardly able to leave the kitchen. It was quite ironic as she had a terrible attitude and the customers hated her, but she insisted on doing all of the serving work.
‘To start today I need you to clean the toilet,’ she commanded.
‘Not a problem,’ I mumbled.
‘Then you can finish the washing up I left from last night,’ she ordered.
‘Okey dokey,’ I muttered.
‘After that, you have to polish all of the knives in the cutlery drawer, whilst I serve the customers,’ she dictated.
‘Shouldn’t I learn how to serve the customers too?’ I whispered.
‘I’m the only person qualified to talk to the customers,’ she insisted.
During my break I called my mum to vent to her about Emily.
‘Mum, I am having a terrible time!’ I cried.
‘Oh no, what’s gone wrong?’ she groaned.
‘Emily is making it obvious that she doesn’t want me there!’ I bawled.
‘I can’t stand that woman, she is so unprofessional,’ she reassured.
‘She is making my time here very unpleasant!’ I sobbed.
‘I’m sure the landlady will see her for who she is very soon,’ she consoled.
‘I don’t think she will – she loves her!’ I whined.
Rather soon afterwards, Emily was fired for being consistently unpleasant.
© E N G L I S H W I T H L U C Y
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